What was meant to be

This was supposed to have been dinner on Sunday but the zucchini patties were too filling. So it became Monday's dinner.

Just as I knew what would become of the zucchini I bought in Sebastopol, I also knew what would become of the chard. It needed lamb. With rosemary and a balsamic sauce. The sauce is supposed to be for the lamb but I find that in some ways it's tastier on the chard. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I grew up putting vinegar on greens.

Sorry. Just lost my train of thought. Oh. Natasha says hi to all of you. And she says that the whole preparation of the meal was fascinating to watch even if she didn't get any of the fresh rosemary. (She likes fresh herbs a lot.) She also says that once I have taken a photo of her of which she approves that I can post it here.

I have learned that I'm usually on to something if the cats are enthralled by the whole process. Not that I haven't made this before. It's just been some time. And I guess that this is what this whole week to date has been about -- rediscovering old friends.

In that mood

The last couple of weeks have been filled with a great deal of reminiscing. And I know that I have just started down that hard road of "over a year" that won't end until next April. While Saturday was a bit rough, I know the month of September will be absolute hell. My two aunts and my stepmother? All born in September. And so I give you this as part of my memories.

My dad's younger sister -- who was so much fun -- would sometimes ask me to put together mixes for her for her walks. Now mind you, this was the woman who believed strongly in creative visualization. She needed music that made her feel good. And so I give you selections from the last mix I made for her.

The food will resume tomorrow.

Starting off

When I saw the zucchini at the Bohemian Farmers Collective, I knew instantly what I would make -- zucchini patties. They are a mixture of grated zucchini, crumbled feta, chopped green onions, some fresh dill and Italian parsley, and some egg and flour to hold it all together. They are served with some plain Greek yogurt.


Since the patties were meant to be an appetizer, I thought a cocktail was in order. Once more a no-brainer -- Persephone's Bees. (I first had this drink at Kitty's in Emeryville.) Juice of 1-1/2 small Meyer lemons, 1-2 teaspoons of honey, and about a quarter cup of Pearl Persephone vodka. (Thank you to the fine folks in Canada for making the vodka. It is magical.) Chill and strain. Of course, the honey is one of my purchases from beekind. For the drink, I went with the Sebastopol wildflower. (Yes, I bought more than one honey.) It's been one of my favorites from them but this year, I was told, it's a little different as it has some mustard in the mix.

Sad thing is that after that plate and cocktail, I had no room for anything else. So the rest became Monday's dinner. And yes, you will have to wait to see that.

My way and the highway*

So I wouldn't post photos of the eggs before because they weren't made the way that I wanted to -- with a little bit of Romano cheese mixed into the yolks. But yesterday I corrected that. And my mother doesn't know what she missed out on. They were delicious, in my opinion. Oh, and this batch of eggs peeled perfectly. Even after time in the fridge.


But let me rewind things. The eggs were the last thing I made on Saturday. I started off making another batch of the Spicy Lemon Marinated Shrimp. And then I cooked up some boneless, skinless chicken thighs -- salt, pepper, tarragon and some white wine. Then I made the eggs. Oh, and a pot of brown rice. And everything was complete by 9 AM. Then I did some cleaning.

Why this fury of activity? Because yesterday was the one-year anniversary of my aunt's death. My original plan had been to go out on Saturday night. But then everyone seemed to be busy. Typical. So then I decided that I would go out on Friday night instead but I was so tired when I got off of work and headed straight home. And by Saturday? I decided that going out alone was not a good idea.

Yeah, not a good idea. Not that I have a problem with going out alone. I've been doing it quite a bit for a number of years. Of course, I could have gone to Sacto but I just wasn't feeling up to the drive. And besides, I'm an independent woman and all that other shit. As long as I have myself, I don't need anyone else. And so last night I sadly remembered that Jill Scott sang, "There's just me. One is the magic number."

And then this morning I awoke and proclaimed, "There's just me. One is the magic number." And I got my ass dressed in one of my boho outfits -- dress worn as a top over jeans with flip flops. Then I told the cats, "Peace out, bitches!" and hit the road.


The first stop was Sebastopol. Because I needed products from beekind. Really.

Originally I had planned on backtracking to Petaluma and picking up the Bodega Road west but then the lovely woman at beekind suggested that I continue into Sebastopol to check out this tea house, Infusions. Oh, and then I may as well check out the market as well since it was right across the street. Infusions? Cool place even though I didn't have anything there. And fitting with the California thing, they have meditation sessions there.


I left there in search of an ATM. Just in case I saw something at the market I liked. Not that I was planning to buy anything there.

But then I got to the market and the Bohemian Farmers Collective had a stand. With a name like that, I just knew I had to buy something. (Oh, and now Sepastopol is quite possibly my favorite town in Sonoma County.)


Chard and zucchini from the Bohemian Farmers Collective, organic blackberries and boysenberries from Sebsstopol Berry Farm, Bodega goat cheese from Yerba Santa Goat Dairy, and Santa Rosa plums. Sorry lost the card for the plum place.




At this point I decided to stay on 116 out to the coast. Glad I did because if I had gone the other route, I would have missed all of the above. Oh and I so want to stay at the place that offers horseback riding on the beach. Yeah, those dark spots in the last photo are horses crossing the highway.


The next stop was Pt. Reyes Station. It's been nearly a year since I've last been there. Really quite ridiculous.

Selection of cheeses acquired at Cowgirl Creamery.

Yes, I know that I can get some of the products from Cowgirl at Berkeley Bowl. Yes, I know that Cowgirl has a shop in the Ferry Building in San Francisco. But I don't really like the Ferry Building. Kind of like how I don't like certain farmers markets. And the drive to San Francisco is not as pretty as the drive to Pt. Reyes.

On the way home, I got to go through one of my fave towns in Marin County -- Nicasio. I don't know much about the town but those few seconds I've seen of it driving through somehow resonate with me. Oh, and you have to wonder about a town that has a building named "Druid's Hall."

If I'm going straight to Pt. Reyes from the East Bay, I take Sir Francis Drake through San Anselmo and then turn off near San Geronimo to head for Nicasio. On the return I never go that way. Instead I turn off Nicasio Valley Road onto Lucas Valley Road -- which is where you'll find Skywalker Ranch. I have a pretty good idea where the property is even if you can't really see it from the road. But that's not important because today I saw a fawn grazing at the side of the road. If I could have pulled over safely, I would have taken a photo for Beth.

As I headed past the last Marin exit before getting on the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge (There are eight bridges in the Bay Area. And most of us try our best to never have to cross them. I know. Silly.), I remembered that back when I was kid and we were leaving Marin County, I'd say to my aunt, "Hey! Don't you need to check in at home?" She would respond, "Oh my goodness. I almost forgot that I needed to take you home." For those of you not familiar with the area, the last exit is San Quentin prison.

Driving across the bridge, I thought to myself that today had been a really good day. And then I thought about my birthday two years ago. My aunt suggested that we try a different restaurant once a month. We didn't do it. My aunt reminded me of this last year when we were out to lunch for my birthday. We promised that we would in the coming year. Then six days later she died.

Last August I tried to start up the monthly girls' night once more but that was a frustrating experience. Why? Probably because we were talking about too many schedules. Today? I remembered that list of places that I'd like to take day trips or weekend trips to. Places that I could drive to. In the last year, I have only scratched one place off the list. So I'm thinking at least one a month. But now that it's summer and the weather is so good, I'm thinking that I might be able to fit in more than one a month. Because today I managed to not feel sad given all the crap that has happened over the last year. And that's always a good thing.

Oh, and the other important thing learned today? The importance of letting a blog post marinate. Because that Saturday stuff? Yeah, I wrote it last night. But once I decided to head out today, I decided that posting could wait. Just in case. I'm glad I did. To me it's proof that I'm pretty good of taking care of me when I need to.

*I clocked almost 200 miles on the road today.

No great surprise

You Love Being Single

In general, you're very happy being single. You like doing your own thing, and you're happy not to have to compromise. You're not opposed to being attached, but you're not going to settle. Someone else should your enhance your life, and you're happy to wait for that person.

Do You Hate to Be Single?

Coming to terms with Holly

Now if you've been around long enough, you've heard me throw around the phrase "inner Holly." And I know some of y'all are thinking,"What the hell is she talking about?"

I guess it all started back when I was nine or so and watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for the first time with my aunt. I thought Holly was so glamorous. I wanted to be her when I grew up. Hey! I said I was nine. It took me years to figure out how Holly made her money.

Over the years being Holly has become much less literal. It's that feeling of "I'm fabulous no matter what anyone else says. Not that I'm listening to them anyway because the only opinion that matters is mine." Whew. That was a mouthful. It's about living life to its fullest and generally having a good time.

Here's the thing that I've noticed over the years. In order for my inner Holly to come out, then I have to be feeling good about myself. Because being Holly is all about being confidence. And it's hard to be confident, when one doesn't think highly of one's self.

So this week has been all about the inner Holly. And thinking, "Shouldn't she be part of my everyday life instead of just making these occasional appearances?" Because now I know how to reel her in when she gets a little too wild.

I have rituals that I go through to reach this point. There's the trip to the salon to get the hair looking just right. There's the fresh pedicure. Taming the wild eyebrows. Why these things? Because these are the first things to go when I'm not feeling good and just want to curl up in the bed in the fetal position. There are also the things like doing laundry and other cleaning. The laundry is key. Holly needs to have lots of wardrobe choices.

Reading this, it comes off a tad superficial to me. But here's the thing. I do these things for me, not for someone else. Sure, it's nice when someone says, "Hey. Your hair looks great," but they're just confirming what I already know. Because after all of the various beauty ministrations, I end up wearing what happens to make me feel good that day. One day it could be a cute spring dress. The next could be jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie and flip flops. Being Holly used to be about walking out with a full face of make-up. Now it's about being comfortable enough to go out for an evening wearing lipstick at the most. If the makeup makes you feel good, then do it. I just don't have to in order to feel that way.

I guess the best way to put it all is that embracing your inner Holly is all about taking care of yourself. Doing those little things for yourself that no one else may do. Because you know it makes you feel good. And knowing in the end that when you feel good, then others may actually want to be around you. And isn't that a part of what life is all about?

She's back

I have been toying for days over a number of posts. And then decided that I was not ready to share that kind of information with the world at large. All I will say on the subject is that I have slipped back into my partygirl ways. And unlike in the past, I just don't feel comfortable in discussing this transgression with everyone. So maybe I have really stopped being that person.

But today is Tuesday. Media day. And so I give you one of my faves from the height of the real partygirl days. Back when I thought it wasn't really a party until I had danced on at least one piece of furniture. Back when I spent late nights hanging with the guys who would one day become Seven Mary Three. Because hey, I'm a band aid. And back in those days it was all about, "I'm with the band."

Sorry about the sucky video. But it's all about the sound. So crank it and find a piece of furniture upon which to dance. Because this week is all about my inner Holly.