Veruca*

Friday night I had to stop by my mom's house to pick up some things of mine that I had left there when I moved into my apartment.

"Sunday is Easter. What are we doing for dinner? You could come over here. I have a couple of steaks in the freezer that we could have."

"It's Easter. I want lamb."

"I don't want to go to Outback. Where else can we get lamb?"

"Duh. Hotel Mac."

And so I called to make a reservation.

Walking into the restaurant today, I was asked, "Why is your stomach sticking out?"

"Because I'm getting fat."

"You really need to do some crunches or something."

I should have taken this as a sign that things were not going to be all that pleasant during the meal.

I didn't tell my mother that I intended to pay for our meals until after we ordered. She wouldn't order the lamb for herself because it was the most expensive item. And she didn't want the prime rib because she just had steak last night.

When my lamb arrived, she complained about the red. (I always order medium rare and was pretty sure that it would show up more rare. Fine by me though. I have actually grown to prefer rare to medium rare these days.) So I gave her the end piece because I knew it would be the most done. As it turns out, it was also kind of sinewy. She didn't like the lamb at all. And she wasn't that thrilled with the paella that she ordered. And the bread pudding -- with fresh berries and creme anglaise -- that I ordered for dessert? OK.

But she really enjoyed the escargots. (Once more my choice. She ordered the Caesar because the house salad is made with what she calls "California weeds.") How could one not love them? They are cooked sitting atop mushroom caps in a bunch of buttery goodness. My mother shared with our server at the end of the meal that the only thing she enjoyed were the escargots. And to give you an idea of just how much she disliked the whole thing, the server told me that the dessert was on the house because my mother had been so displeased with her meal. But I really liked my meal.

* I don't know why but one of my friends from high school has started calling me this recently.