The personal assistant

For many years, I have suspected that my mother views me as her personal assistant. This would explain the fuzzy/non-existent boundaries. Actually now that I think about it, I do seem to recall her telling someone that I was her assistant.

It started off rather innocently. At age nine or so, I was frequently confronted with the words, "This doesn't smell right. Taste it." Taste some bad milk once and you learn some skills. I would take the offending carton and stand by the sink. Then I would pour the milk over a finger and taste a drop from said finger. Believe me when I say that if the milk has gone bad, then all you need is one drop to ascertain such.

By high school, I had additional duties. First was that upon hearing the garage door open, I was to go to the kitchen to prepare a White Russian. This was to be done by sight because I was underage and therefore should not be drinking. The cocktail was to be ready by the time my mother reached the kitchen.

And a few times a week we would stop by the nearby gas station in the mornings. I would get out and run into the store to request packs of Benson & Hedges Deluxe Ultralights. Sometimes the clerk would pull out the wrong box but I knew what it was supposed to look like and would correct them. I did not want to hear it if I returned with the wrong cigarettes.

But the true duty was that my mother basically stopped answering the phone. It was my job to answer and screen calls. If it was someone to whom my mother did not wish to speak, I would deftly lie, stating some reason for her unavailability.



Flash forward to this weekend. As I have stated earlier, there are certain types of roads that my mother will not drive. This would be why I had not seen large parts of Marin and Sonoma Counties until adulthood. But sometimes she just has to go somewhere. And I must drive her. That's how I found myself spending seven hours with my mother on Saturday. I'm still trying to figure out if she ever took a breath in all those hours to stop talking.

Our trip was to Sonoma County to see a friend of hers. This friend was in a really bad car accident earlier this year. While she was starting her recovery from the accident, she had a series of strokes. Finally after months in a rehab center, she has returned home.

The photo above is the patio area of their home. I think it's beautiful. My mom? "Why the hell would anyone want to live way out here in the middle of nowhere?" It could have been better if I had been allowed to accept the glass of wine that was proffered upon our arrival -- because of course these people are winemakers -- but wine is never allowed. At least not for me.

And I kept my fingers crossed that all would go well at our dinner at the Hotel Mac. I had made a reservation there after receiving an email announcing their special for the weekend.

Fried calamari appetizer

Entree of braised short ribs with cheddar mashed potatoes


The only dessert I ever have there -- bread pudding

Thankfully all went well with the meal. And you know what made it even better? That meal pictured? $25. So now we have gone to the Hotel Mac on three different occasions in the last year or so and all has gone well. I am afraid to try anywhere else at this point. Because my boss can be rather demanding and I'm afraid that one day she'll throw a cellphone at my head.

Completed set

When I first mentioned prisons and power to Fluffycat on Friday, she said that I needed to find another P to make it complete. Then on Saturday after my hike, it all came together.

After lunch, I headed over to Tolosa Winery. I really wanted to check out a winery that is certified sustainable. They apparently use a lot of solar power and water reclamation.


Oh, and that other P. I chose to do their Pinot Noir tasting flight. Because yes, they produce six different pinots. Think Sideways. And two of them I liked enough to purchase -- along with their no oak Chardonnay that I had with my lunch on Friday. They packaged them up in the tote pictured and told me that as part of their efforts to be sustainable that I bring the tote back on future visits -- for which I'll receive a discount on my wine.

In the meantime, I will be receiving shipments from them sinceI joined their wine club as well. And I do not need an intervention, Maddie. Of course, if they had told me that I would receive a 35% discount for my purchase because I joined the club, I may have selected more.

Braving the weather

Now I know that some of y'all in colder climates are saying to yourselves, "Weather? Those Californians are such wimps." Yes, we are. We like our temperate climate. But this is an El Nino year so I see lots of rain and cold in our immediate future. And lots of whining as a result. We are petulant privileged children. (Say that fast three times. I double dog dare you.)


But Friday evening was the start of Hanukkah. And me? I am down with any religious holiday that involves food. (Note to self -- Must research Hindu and Buddhist traditions for ones that involve food as well as I am only versed in the Christian, Jewish and Islamic ones.) So Friday I headed out into the awful rain to Berkeley. Saul's had a latke tent for the weekend. I cannot even begin to describe my love of latkes. OK. It is not as great as my love of blintzes but still.


This weekend was more about this inspiration though. When Maddie and Boy Toy were out here in August, we hit a couple of wineries and I joined their wine clubs. Imagine my surprise at the beginning of November when instead of my usual two bottles, I received this beauty. Yes, it is a magnum. And yes, in this photo it is completely empty. How? Well, I sent out an Evite and cooked up some food.


There was my usual goat cheese with fig and walnut tapenade to start the evening. The main was a salad, bread, moussaka and spinach lasagna (pictured). There were children running around laughing and playing. Adults were busy catching up on one another's lives. Jade said that she had watched Julie and Julia earlier in the day and it made her think of me. For me, it felt like home.


I awoke this morning a bit fuzzy around the edges. And then it hit me. They had eaten everything. There was no food left save the baklava even though they had put a pretty healthy dent in it as well. The remainder will be going to work with me tomorrow as I am sticking true to my weight loss goal. Because -- squeeee! -- I had lost another pound when I got on the scale this morning. I now weigh less than I did back in July. This is real and I can do it. And the fact that I'm doing it during the holiday season and at a time that I am vulnerable to using food as a crutch proves to me that I can do this anytime.

Today I also did a kind of hard thing. I went to meet my mother to go to the movies. I realized on the way there that I have not seen a movie in a theater in over two years. Scary. Five years ago I used to see at least 75 or so movies per year in a theater. With my DVD viewing, I easily watched 200 movies a year. I miss it. Maybe if and when I get my bonus check in January (Yes, my company is still giving those out.), I will rejoin the San Francisco Film Society. Because I do need to take my non-flabby self out to places and all.

I totally survived going to the movies with my mom. While she enjoyed Invictus, she did not like it as much as Blind Side. Me? I would have liked it more if she had not been reciting the poem throughout the movie but I knew it would happen. But how can you not love this?

"I am the master of my fate.
I am the captain of my soul."

It tied in beautifully with watching "Dollhouse" Friday night. Here's where I would put in the warning about plot spoilers and all but I suspect that at this point, I'm the only one watching. Echo met up with a previous engagement -- a guy who wanted her to be his dead wife. The guy had finally moved on in his life and was engaged but when he saw Echo, everything came back for him.

"I thought I was past this."

"You never get past it. It becomes a part of who you are."

So true. And me now? It's all about having a home that I can open up to others. And on days in which there is not a Save the Air warning, a fire in the fireplace. By the way, the screen came from my aunt's house. And so a little bit of her will always be with me. Because sometimes we need to see it. But I know that I carry a little bit of the four women I have lost in these last 15 months or so in me. I would not be who I am today if not for them. And I will never forget this. They taught me to cook, to set a pretty table, to be a gracious hostess, to find joy in being around other people's children. They also taught me that bad things happen but we are survivors and so we move on. It is how we react and not these things themselves that define who we are.


And Flufficat, Boris and Natasha would like to thank Teddy and Kiki for their Hanukkah gifts. As you can see, the blue fluffy thing was big hit. Of course after one hour, it no longer exists. Because my cats are all gangsta like that.

The month (to date) in food and drink

So yeah, it's been almost a week since I promised y'all a post. And I had lots of ideas but just wasn't feeling the posting thing. Instead I'll just give y'all some quick highlights and maybe then I'll be able to get back to regular posting. Oh, and there will be a little bit more than food and drink. But you've got to get to the end for that.

Labor Day weekend meant my usual stint with Dumb and Dumber. And being back in Berkeley? Made me instantly think of food.


The first night I picked up dinner from Gregoire. Pork chop stuffed with pecans and blue cheese. Ummm. Yeah. I'll be trying to duplicate this at home in the future.


The second night I went to visit my peeps at Poulet. I wasn't in to the special that night so I got some of their garlic rosemary chicken with some sides, including an incredible dish of green beans with farro and pecans and some polenta. And lucky me, they had my favorite carrot-walnut cupcakes.


I received my first shipment from Viansa.



The following weekend I headed up to Sacto to spend some quality time with dad. This time I managed to remember that there was a Jimboy's in his neighborhood.


And before leaving dad's house, I did a little shopping.

Now we keep having these heatwaves out here. In fact we're starting another one as I type this. But before going to dad's, I kept thinking about mussels. I wanted something different than my usual though so I did some searching and settled on this.


I bought the ingredients on my way back from Sacto because the recipe calls for creme fraiche and stores in Oakland seem to have some aversion to the stuff. But Berkeley is on the way home from Sacto now and I knew where I could find the stuff. Yeah, I know. It's just plain crazy to go into Berkeley Bowl on a Saturday but I really wanted the stuff. Oh, and I substituted Pacific snapper for the halibut. Yum!


But the big change was at the beginning of the month, I got rid of the OPH. Now it's just the hair that I grew on my own. And yeah, I spent some time going through photos but decided on the one with the squinty right eye. Because I know that when that happens, I am truly smiling and not pretending to smile.

And I hope to be back a little more regularly. Because I now have loads of recipes that I'd like to try.