Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Coming to terms with Holly

Now if you've been around long enough, you've heard me throw around the phrase "inner Holly." And I know some of y'all are thinking,"What the hell is she talking about?"

I guess it all started back when I was nine or so and watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for the first time with my aunt. I thought Holly was so glamorous. I wanted to be her when I grew up. Hey! I said I was nine. It took me years to figure out how Holly made her money.

Over the years being Holly has become much less literal. It's that feeling of "I'm fabulous no matter what anyone else says. Not that I'm listening to them anyway because the only opinion that matters is mine." Whew. That was a mouthful. It's about living life to its fullest and generally having a good time.

Here's the thing that I've noticed over the years. In order for my inner Holly to come out, then I have to be feeling good about myself. Because being Holly is all about being confidence. And it's hard to be confident, when one doesn't think highly of one's self.

So this week has been all about the inner Holly. And thinking, "Shouldn't she be part of my everyday life instead of just making these occasional appearances?" Because now I know how to reel her in when she gets a little too wild.

I have rituals that I go through to reach this point. There's the trip to the salon to get the hair looking just right. There's the fresh pedicure. Taming the wild eyebrows. Why these things? Because these are the first things to go when I'm not feeling good and just want to curl up in the bed in the fetal position. There are also the things like doing laundry and other cleaning. The laundry is key. Holly needs to have lots of wardrobe choices.

Reading this, it comes off a tad superficial to me. But here's the thing. I do these things for me, not for someone else. Sure, it's nice when someone says, "Hey. Your hair looks great," but they're just confirming what I already know. Because after all of the various beauty ministrations, I end up wearing what happens to make me feel good that day. One day it could be a cute spring dress. The next could be jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie and flip flops. Being Holly used to be about walking out with a full face of make-up. Now it's about being comfortable enough to go out for an evening wearing lipstick at the most. If the makeup makes you feel good, then do it. I just don't have to in order to feel that way.

I guess the best way to put it all is that embracing your inner Holly is all about taking care of yourself. Doing those little things for yourself that no one else may do. Because you know it makes you feel good. And knowing in the end that when you feel good, then others may actually want to be around you. And isn't that a part of what life is all about?


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