Birthdays suck

Some of you might not realize it but today is my birthday. And today? I've spent most of the day on an emotional roller coaster. There have been a lot of tears. It wasn't until late in the day when I realized the why of the tears.

Birthdays with my mom are all about her. With my aunt? It was all about me. And this was the first birthday when I suddenly felt that it was all about other people.

It started with the phone call from my mother this morning. There was the wish of "Happy birthday!" but then it became 10 minutes about her. And I thought to myself, "It's my birthday. Can't it just once be about me?"

So I got to work. Where most of my life there is about other people. But I thought long about lunch. And I looked over the calendar. I would pick up lunch and then go sit somewhere other than my desk. Perhaps read a few pages of the book I picked up recently while I ate. Instead I walked into the door and was assaulted by people worrying about stuff that really didn't need worrying over. And then they walked out the door to their own lunch as they do every day. And then I felt the first tears run down my cheek. All I had wanted out of the day was a nice lunch and now that was shot.

So my friend, the HR person, insisted that I eat lunch in her office. But they still found me there. But I guess she said something to them all. Because later they surprised me with cake and a card containing an iTunes gift card. Because yeah, the AT&T store had called me to say that my new phone had arrived.

I left work with the thought of getting my new phone being the high point of my day. I don't know why I thought that that would be the high point of my day. I'd love to tell y'all about the experience but I just don't have the energy. Bottom line is that this salesperson rolled her eyes at me (I had my back turned to her and turned around at the "wrong" moment. She thought that I wouldn't catch it. Bottom line is the bitch should not work retail.) and I had the consuming desire to slap the shit out of her. (OK. That last part may have been a bit hormonally induced.) Bitch had the nerve to say that she did not see me when I was in the store for at least five to ten minutes. I am tempted to go to the point of the race card because all the other folks she noticed were of similar ethnic background -- not the same as mine. And folks wonder why there are issues in that area of the East Bay between Blacks and Latinos? I told the person who finally helped me that the bitch (I did not use that word.) owed me an apology for the eye roll. He said that he couldn't help me. I think it's time to write a letter to somewhere. Because I don't care how "unrational" a customer may seem, you just don't roll your eyes at them.

But I got my phone. Even though when I asked for the apology, they threatened to hold my phone and have me escorted from the store. I told the guy, "Oh no. You've already charged me for the phone so I will be leaving with it." This was after his snarky ass comment about keeping things civil. What? Saying that I would like him to tell her that her eye roll was inappropriate is not civil? Saying that I would like an apology was not civil? I can show them non-civil...

So at that point I decided that my birthday was pretty much hosed. The sad thing is that I have received more birthday wishes from folks online than I have from my own family. Oh, and Jade and Emerald as well. After all these years neither can seem to remember my actual birthday.

So right now I'm pretty much done with the whole birthday thing. Because is it too much to ask to have one little part of one day be about you and not someone else?